The story of Owl Orgy

let me tell you the story of “the day i got the inspiration for my name on tumblr”.

it was in second grade and the class was out to recess. i’ve never liked to exercise and my best friend wasn’t at school that day (lol jk i didn’t have friends then either) so i wandered over to the fence where there was a bunch of empty sand on the other side, also where other kids had sometimes claimed to see owls burrow under the sand. when i got close to the fence, i saw the holes where the owls had burrowed under, and after looking around to check that the coast was clear of teachers, i climbed over the fence to investigate the holes.

i didn’t get too close to the holes, because i didn’t want an owl to, like, fly out and peck my eyes out or anything (ever seen the movie Birds by Alfred Hitchcock?). but i didn’t have to get close. i was about 6 feet away when i saw an adorable little baby owl peek its head out of one of the burrows. it looked straight at me, made a very high-pitch “hoot” noise, and dove back in. i kept walking around the border of the fence to peer into other holes, and i eventually got to one especially large hole, one that looked like it had been dug out by human hands. i got closer to look in, and i saw movement. being careful to stay very quiet, i creeped closer until i could look into the hole. it was deeper, much deeper than i thought. in fact, it looked like the hole that Alice had fallen into when she was chasing the white rabbit. but this time, it was just 8-year-old Stefani looking for owls.

as i stepped closer to the hole, trying to look inside, i tripped and fell in, as you probably predicted i would. but it wasn’t that deep at all; in fact, i fell into not just a hole, but a series of tunnels. i started walking and went deeper into the tunnels and turned many corners until i got to what looked like a dead end, with movement and a flickering light inside. as i slowly peered around the corner, i saw shadows cast on the wall, shadows cast by what looked like several large furry animals fighting on the floor. they were making an awful lot of noise, with lots of yelling and shouting. this literally scared the shit out of me, and with a full pair of panties, i ran out of the tunnel and out of the hole back to the playground.

the next day, at recess again, i went back to the tunnel and went back in. the same large animals were there again, on the floor, fighting and screaming. i got up the courage to look around the corner, just a peek, and i saw that they weren’t furry. or fighting. in fact, they weren’t even animals. it was feathers, not fur. they were humans in owl costumes, not animals. and they weren’t fighting. they were having an OWL ORGY.